It is what it is!

 

 

How many of you use the saying "It is what it is"? My definition of It is what it is....accept it, deal with it and move on. I say this quite often...pretty on point these days don't you think?! I had a very tough week emotionally and I had to do a lot of talking myself thru things...I had to keep reminding myself "patience Patty patience". So easy to preach this to people but when you need to listen and accept it for yourself it’s real hard. I have to accept my "new normal"...it is what it is. I need to accept it....I need to deal with it the best I can...then I need to move on and quit feeling sorry for myself. Again, definitely easier said than done.

Invisible illness  If I had a dollar for every person that has said to me these past few months..."well you don't look sick"...especially now that my hair has grown in....it looks as though nothing ever happened to me. I'd be able to buy that bag I've been wanting :) I also get..."well if you can do all those workouts you must be ok".

Psychically...I am a walking miracle in many people’s eyes...but mentally/emotionally I am still struggling. I cannot filter noise like I once did. I cannot think and process things like I once did....this is taken longer than I had hoped. Went to see a band this past weekend.... I felt like I was being rude...ear plugs in not speaking to anyone because I can't hear them. Just very frustrating for me. It knocked me down emotionally...I actually cried in the bar. The crowd the noise and the confusion...gave me almost an anxiety attack. It was definitely an eye opener for me that I am just not ready still for certain things. Sigh :(

Because psychically I can do just about anything at this point...but these are the times when I miss the old Patty. I definitely miss who I used to be....I miss my energy more than anything. Will I ever be back to "normal"??....from what I am understanding probably not. Sigh again :(  But with that said...there are many things that I like about the new Patty....I no longer sweat the small stuff..I do not react and get stressed out over things that are simply unimportant in the grand scheme of things.  I care less what people think and I no longer have the ability to multi task which allows me to focus at the task at hand which isnt such a bad thing. :)





or nine, ten etc....

It seems that so many people struggle with this though....not just people who have had a brain aneurysm or went thru a life changing event. When you are not who you once were no matter how big or small the issue is..its an awful feeling. A pulled hamstring, carpal tunnel, migraines, back pain...anything that does not make you feel like "you" it can do a number on you mentally and really make you depressed. However, this is when I feel like the brain can get you thru anything though. Because what initially makes you want to give up in the first place and throw in the towel can be the same thing that can talk yourself out of your funk. I am choosing to be stronger, better, focused , commited.  I am choosing to live  a healthier life.  Choosing is the key word here.  And the fact that I actually get to choose is enough reason for me to snap out of it and not feel sorry for myself.  Sometimes a painful situation can teach us lessons that we never thought we needed to know. 


I am trying to figure out my "purpose" and what mine is and should be now. What is my purpose? The obvious is mother wife friend etc...but what else should I be doing with this second chance at life? This is what I am struggling with....what can I do better this go around? Does anyone else go thru this ???  I know I will not figure out all the answers right away but its definitely something I am trying to search for.

All I know is that every single day I dig deep down to get myself out of bed and tackle the day.  It's not easy but I do it and I try to do it with a smile.


My new addition to my desk...surrounding myself with positive reminders that I truly can do anything I set my mind to do!  Especially, on those extra hard days!!!



Received many messages these past few weeks via email and facebook ...it really has made me so happy that I can inspire and motivate some of you :)  Keep at it and thank you for sharing with me!

Wishing you all a good week! Thanks for the continued support!