His side of the story - Part I

My husband and I thought it would be interesting for people to hear his side of the story.  He is the one that was the closest to all this and is actually the only one that remembers everything..haha! (Please excuse some of the cursing that goes on in here).  I am approaching my 1 year “second chance” anniversary next week.  It is still overwhelming for me knowing what I survived and where I am today…especially when I read what my husband wrote. I truly commend Chris on how he has handled this entire situation.  He has been right there by my side rooting for me and cheering me on.  I didn’t think I could love him any more than I already did!

His side of the story Part I

Over the next few months, I will be guest blogging on Patty’s site and providing all of you the story from my seat on what happened from February 20^th, 2014 till now…… I used Facebook as my “voice” throughout this ordeal but here is where I am able to brain dump my side of the story and not sugar coat anything. There is definitely a lot of information I have never made public….I hope you can follow me over the next few months and hear my side around this nightmare that my family was dealt with and the miracle that has happened. 

Day 1 and 2 “Incident and Reality”

February 20^th, 2014 was a cold and pretty normal day in February and this day will be remembered for the rest of our lives.   I was in a career change to something I didn’t think I would ever do or become…..Account Manager at CDI.  The past 4 months at CDI was a whirlwind by way of transitioning out of my Director of Operations position and becoming an Account Executive with a concentration in Public Sector.   February 1^st was technically my first day as a full time rep so I spent most of my days building the existing relationships, building new relationships and trying to gain as much training as I could to get educated on the Pre-Sales side of the business.  February 20^th was one of those typical days as I was down at Cisco at a training and then meeting with an Account Manager to do some account mapping.   Around 1pm I headed back up to the Teterboro office to attend a Professional Services training that Frank was holding for the New Jersey Sales Team.   The training was technically supposed to be till 5 pm and around 345 I threw a txt to Patty to see if she wanted to meet me at the Wellness Center to do a run and workout.  I was pleasantly surprised that she had agreed because unless it was the morning, we rarely went to the gym at night.   I was able to leave the office around 5:05 and I headed to the Wellness Center to meet up with her.  

We arrived around 5:30pm and went right on the treadmill and we started with a walk and then started to run.  I had my head phones on and was in the zone.  I hadn’t agreed to do the Paramus Tri as of yet but had the vision to do it but Patty had agreed mentally that she was definitely going to do the race.  Shortly after we had started running, Patty tapped me on the shoulder (I had my Beats on and somebody was killing a set on Sound Cloud and I wish I could remember who) and she said she wasn’t feeling the run and was going to work out.  I continued my run and saw her in a distance with weights in her hand…she looked good and focused working out.  

Few minutes have passed and I see out of the corner of my eyes that Wellness workers were racing to the workout area to attend to someone, as I removed my headphones; I heard the siren and announcement.  Not thinking of anything or even thought that it was Patty being attended too, I threw my headphones back on and finished my run.  As I finished the run and grabbed something to wipe down the treadmill, I turn around and see a couple from Bogota that I hadn’t seen in maybe 15 years.  I caught up with them for about 5 minutes and even asked them who is the person was and they said it looked like some guy who had a seizure.  As I headed over to the area, I see a group of people looking to see what has happened with the person and I see Keith (Former Manager of the Wellness Center and a friend) looking down at the person in some serious concern.  As I got closer, I noticed the persons hand on the ground and noticed the Fit bit on their hand and the closer I got, I realized it was Patty.  *Deep Breath here*   I sprinted over and I had to have knocked into a few on the way and I leaped over the people attending her like OJ in that Hertz commercial.  As I arrived, they started telling me what was going on, a lot of noise and truly don’t remember what they were saying outside that her blood pressure had sky rocketed.  Patty was laying there completely passed out and I honestly thought the bozo just didn’t eat and fainted….wish I was right.  The police and paramedics arrived and started asking me questions about Patty but the interesting part of this was many years ago,  P made me put the name of her BP medicine and amount under her profile in my phone so one day,  GOD FORBID,  if I needed,  I can recover the information.  So I was able to tell them that she was on a low dose of Bystolic 5mg and after a few minutes Patty started to wake up and here is where my thought of not eating was coming to truth.  She sat up and had no recollection what had happened except her remembering a terrible headache and sat on the bench to catch her breath.  As she was talking and drinking some water she turned around and saw the stretcher and freaked out. She has spent most of her life watching her mother going in and out of the hospitals and this “ I have to go on a stretcher” thing was flying out of her mouth with a few curse words thrown in there.  After screaming at her, yes Dyfus style, that she needed to go on that thing and head to the hospital to get checked out, she agreed.   As she was getting wheeled out, the apologies were flowing from her mouth to everyone she passed or saw.   Got outside and the paramedics recommended that I take my truck to the hospital and not ride in the ambulance.  As I rode to the hospital, I called our friend Krista but forgot she was in Mexico, a few work calls to tell them I am probably not making my Friday appointments and called Shay’s Dad to make sure that he can pick Shay up from Volleyball. 

As I arrived at HUMC valet around 615-620pm, I basically tossed my keys to the attendants and truly didn’t care what they did with my truck.   I walked into the ER and was passed around like a hot potato with asking me questions and stalling me for some reason.  Didn’t really think too much of it until they brought me in a room and started with the questionnaire bullshit and insurance information, here is where Chris’ temper and short patience took over and I looked at the chick and I swear I was nice and I quote “You can keep the fucking insurance card, I can order a new one, I just want to see my wife”.  As they started walking me to the ER area, I had a sense of concern on what the hell is going on but I was more scared for Patty because she was all alone.   They sat me in a chair and told me it’s going to be another 5 minutes, I must have given the nurse a death look cause within seconds, they walked me in.  The ER is setup with all of the rooms around the parameter and the island is where the nurses’ station was…when they walked me over I could see in the room.  The curtain was closed and as I looked down, I saw at least 12-16 feet in the room working on Patty and I was like, this is definitely not good.  The nurse came over and told me that when Patty arrived she had thrown up and passed out.  Later I was told that equals head trauma.   The ER doctor came out and said that they are unsure what is going on and that Patty is heading up to a CAT scan to get a better look at her head.   As she is wheeled by, there had to be 12 tubes connected to her and she is unconscious, the emotional roller coaster had started and being an only child in life,  I can do whatever by myself and I truly love my alone time..BUT at this moment,  being alone was truly the worst feeling someone could have.  The next few minutes are foggy on what happened, I know I called my parents, my sister in law Theresa and I think I threw out a shitload of group txts.   We had arrived at around 6:30 and time stamp right now is about 6:55-7:00.  As Patty is wheeled back down to the room and hooked back up, ER doctor asked if we can discuss the CAT scan and he took me down two hallways and sat me in a random chair…leaned down to talk to me.  Now, I was a HUGE fan of the show ER so I knew exactly the scene I was in and this was DEF not good.   He goes to me, “who you texting with”?  I said my friend George.  He goes...“where does he live?” I tell him and he says “we are calling him and he needs to come here now cause I can’t have you here alone”.   I called George and I just go...”come here now”.  The doctor proceeds to tell me that Patty is very sick and she had a stage 4 Aneurysm and she had a stroke that they were able to contain.  He said the Aneurysm leaked…not burst…and basically told me that the blood has leaked to the back right side of her head…the size of his hand.   

In 1993 on April 17^th, Steve Kinsglow who was my AAU basketball coach for the Jersey Jayhawks,  woke up in the middle of the night and died at the age of 27 from a Brain Aneurysm.  For 21 years, that day has run through my mind and I always wondered why there isn’t a warning or more awareness, and now here I am sitting in the ER being told my wife had one.  He goes on to tell me that I need to call all of our family and friends to the hospital because my wife is very sick and living off a ventilator.  My response back to him…”Doc, is my wife going to die?... his response, “she isn’t breathing on her own and is very sick”.  My response…”I will take that as a yes”. 

Getting off that chair was something I will never forget.  I basically left my soul in that chair that night and walked down the hallway.  Tears started flowing with so many emotions running through me.   As I was walking down the hallway, Shay’s father calls me and tells me that he and his wife were in the waiting room (Remember I had called him about picking up Shay…so if you forgot and found this weird, there is your reminder).  As I was explaining what the hell was going on, they were the first to see me in the state I was in. We had to discuss what we were going to do with telling Shay and getting her to the hospital.  He decided that he was going to get her and bring her back,  it was totally the right move even though if Patty had to vote, the answer would have been NO.   George arrived, I will be thankful for the rest of my life for the support he provided me that night and the next morning.  George and Amanda were just married that Saturday before and I am even more thankful that their honeymoon was delayed a few months.  As I was sitting at the desk…my lifeless wife laying 20 feet away from me.. I started placing more calls to people to let them know.  People started arriving including my Uncle Dick which was the best surprise of them all.   I am lucky to have that man in my life because he was the support group I needed right at that moment and like George, thankful for the rest of my life for that. 

At around 7:30-745pm, Shay arrived with her father and this was the moment I think I found the toughest to deal with.  After a brief conversation with her I grabbed her hand as tight as I could, and walked her over to the room, you could feel with each step, the grip got tighter and tighter by both of us.  I was walking Shay in to see the person she loved more than anyone,  laying there lifeless and living off a machine,  not sure if there could have been a more depressing moment cause I was standing there watching this and this is the last thing Patty would have ever wanted.   As we walked out of the room, the group had grown with friends (Dave, Fran L, Fran G, and Kim) and family (My parents, Theresa, Uncle Dick, Kris, Amy and Kyle) and we needed every single one of them.   At around 830pm, the doctor came up to George, myself and Theresa and I quote “Patty is the sickest patient I have ever seen in this ER in my 13 years here” Patty had been wheeled up a few times for tests and still the same results,  no improvement. 

At around 945pm,  the ER doctor came up to me at the desk that I had completely taken over with the amount of supporters Patty had at the hospital and asked to speak to me. I remember looking at him, reminder that I really liked this doctor and his keeping me updated was on point but everything has been bad news, and I stated “ Doc,  I can’t hear any more bad news so I truly don’t want to talk to you”  He promised he didn’t have any bad news.   I go on to tell him that I don’t have the people (My parents and Poppy Puzo) there to help me make any of those serious decisions that I might have had to make.  He calls me over and grabs my elbow and walks me over to the room and made me stand at the end of the bed and tells me to watch.  Within minutes I see Patty’s toes start to move and I look over to him and he assures me this is good.  He states “This is really good and now neurology will now take the case”.  The joke around her feet moving was my busting on Patty for always teasing her on how busted her feet and toes were.  IRONIC!   Within minutes, the neurology team came down and they pulled me aside and basically described what has happened and what is going to happen.   I get introduced to the Resident Doctor from neurology and my first thought was “man he is young” and I went on to call him my Doogie Howser.   The entire group of family and friends have now moved over to surround the room for support and to see what the hell is next.   Doogie comes over to me and explains that they need to put a tube in her head to start draining the blood from her brain and they will have to shave her head.  In my sarcastic and typical Chris way I told him that I cannot approve this action and that her hair dresser will have to sign off,  Kim, who was there is her hair dresser.  The doctor looked at me with my 9 heads and then died laughing and realized I was kidding but I think he was baffled that I still had my sense of humor, even in this situation. 

People started leaving now and my parents and George left around 1130 and by the next morning Patty was scheduled to have the Aneurysm coiled.  So from the moment the ER doctor told me that my wife was going to die, to the moment her toes wiggled was about 2 hours and 50 minutes.   The thought that my wife was dead for that long is still surreal but something had happened and I will talk about that later in the story.

Please continue to follow this Blog as I will go through the next few days in the blog next month….

TO BE CONTINUED…

 I am beyond grateful for all of the people that from day one have been there for me (for US).  I think having the support system that I had and continue to have has contributed to my incredible recovery.  When you see how much people care it really warms your heart.  I will never be able to say thank you enough to everyone.  Ive said it plenty of times....with all that has happened to me I still feel incredibly lucky with the people I have in my life.  Enjoy your week everyone and be nice to everyone you meet :)